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(Such as, for example, these sex positions for clit stimulation or the way they used their tongue during oral.) That way, you know they’ll receive your proposition positively, which can make you feel more confident taking charge. Many people who like smutty speech also enjoy being bossed around a little. Oh yeah, that’s nice.” If your partner wants to be dominated, nothing will kill the mood faster than a lot of extraneous talk, so keep it short and salty. If you feel silly saying “cock” or “slut” or whatever word your partner wants you to say, just remember that you’re speaking to an audience of one and your partner’s reaction is the only reaction that matters.

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In this same vein, having sex with someone is one of the few times it’s totally acceptable to comment on their body (in a positive, loving way!). Think, “Your tits are perfect, I want to ____ them,” or “You look so hot when you ____.” Dirty talk doesn’t need to be exclusively crass; it can be affectionate too. I could say, “Would you like to get nasty tonight? Or I could say, “Would you like to get nasty tonight?

Try roleplaying

  • One of the fundamentals of dirty talk is understanding how you like to describe your physicality to yourself and to your partners.
  • I also think that speaking to you and doing other things, meaning touching you, grabbing you, looking you in the eyes, helps me right?
  • So why does talking dirty seem so…awkward?
  • Mix up a few different approaches and see what works best.
  • It’s a great exercise in getting comfortable with the vulnerability of vocalizing your desires from the comfort of your own company.

Aside from being articulate, eccentric, and funny, she was a stone knockout; for the last month, I’d been scrambling just to feel worthy. These can be posed as sexy questions, your sexiest memory with them, or a snippet from your sexual experience with your partner. In my opinion, and probably in everybody else’s, sexual chemistry is the most crucial element of a long-distance relationship.

She basically never stops talking when she’s having sex, and the result is a stunning stream of consciousness. She used a few lines — such as, “Aren’t you lucky you got to make me come today? ” — that I immediately filed away for use with the right person.

It’s just you and I, and I feel so ridiculous saying those words, and I think it’s because I know the people are listening to me and maybe judging me, so. And I do know what you want to hear, and I should say there have been instances where I have gotten into it and I’ve played with it a bit but I’ve needed to really push myself. Even as I’m saying these words aloud, you’re like, “well what is the consequence?

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Keep in mind, though, that your partner may very well want to do that solo work and develop their own word bank. Again, taking note of what’s off-limits is as important as writing down what you like. “Certain words can feel degrading or not gender-affirming, or just make your skin crawl for whatever reason,” says Horn. Pay attention and maybe even journal which words, phrases, dynamics, and scenes resonate with you. Describe as vividly as you can what’s going on in your own words, zeroing in on exactly what is getting you off. There’s a whole world of naughty language out there to immerse yourself in for inspiration to help figure out what you like or don’t like.

And that’s something that you can really perfect and can be very exciting, and I think can really draw you into the moment. In fact, I wonder for you Brandon, because you talk about being you know self conscious and being worried about whether the neighbours are listening. I do think sometimes when you get into certain fantasies, you get more into that moment right? So we’ve already been through, I don’t know at least more than a dozen kind of dirty talk lines.

  • It could be sweet and playful, it can be romantic, non-monogamous.
  • ” So after you call your partner a slut (or whatever word she wants to hear) and you both come your faces off, make sure to practice aftercare.
  • Our talks turned towards our relationships and partners.
  • You’re not alone if the prospect of dirty talk (beyond “yes” and miscellaneous moans) makes you feel awkward.

Knowing what excites each other and the limits sets a comfortable and healthy foundation,” she suggests. For those who are a little shy, playing character roles that align with your greatest fantasies might make talking dirty a little less uncomfortable. Now, we’re not saying you need to dive headfirst into BDSM.

They had a woman living with them for a while and her bedroom abutted my office, the office we’re sitting in right now. And they had sex in the afternoon all the time afternoon. I was thinking that what I find is, that the more turned on I am, the less self conscious I am. If I’m in the heat of the moment, ’cause I don’t worry about what’s going on around me, I don’t think about anybody else’s needs. Thanks for reading our community guidelines.

First of all, as with all things related to sex, you have to submit to the fact that dirty talk is vaguely ridiculous. Sex is basically just rubbing two (or more) naked bodies together because it feels good, so naturally any narration of the act is a little silly. You have to give into this, much like you give into the idea of another person seeing you naked. It may seem strange, but try saying dirty things when you’re totally alone as practice. On the drive to work just say, “I want to fuck you so bad” at a normal volume until it doesn’t make you cringe.